Pelosium

Named after the nations most dense politician – Nancy Pelosi, is the thought to be the densest matter ever discovered by science.  Its inherent properties are such, that if it comes in contact with human skin, one can subsequently start to become mentally deficient, within a short period of time.  The length of time is not known, as it varies based on the intellect of the individual exposed and the amount of exposure.   If ingested, almost certain death of all intellectual behavior is assured.

It is believed to have originated in Washington DC, likely from extreme exposure to the what the CDC deems as the most infectious disease known to mankind, Obama.  Currently there are no known cures for Obama and there have been reported vast outbreaks the world over.

President Trump has issued a press release, stating that Obamacare will not provide coverage for this malady and if you contract this dangerous virus, it is certain statements of stupidity, ignorance and negligence are likely to occur.  These are the early stage warning signs, followed by fits of racist remarks, delusional thought, gender confusion, and the need for a safe space to play with blocks.  Some adults will also experience the need to march and protest, but have no real reason or understanding why.

So far, this virus seems to be contained to the West coast and North Eastern parts of the country.  No one seems to understand this phenomenon.   There are some who suspect the Russians had something to do the with this, others are blaming the influx of illegals immigrants.